


Velociraptors, Candy and Booze

by WaywardPrimrose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Banter, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 06:18:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1540751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardPrimrose/pseuds/WaywardPrimrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam wakes up the morning after a big night out. Inspired by textsfromlastnight. Sibling banter and regret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Velociraptors, Candy and Booze

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, this is meant to be a bit of fun, but if you're uncomfortable with the idea of a very drunken night (and some resultant puking the next morning) this story isn't for you. The author would like to make it clear that it is not her intention to condone dangerous drinking. Drink responsibly, this is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes not a model on which to base your life choices.

* * *

“Morning princess,” Dean grinned.

Sam groaned. 

Dean smirked. 

“Shut up Jerk.”

“Aww is your head hurting bitch?” 

“SHHH,” Sam sighed and buried his head under his pillow.

Salad loving Sammy was going to pay for this one. Dean was going to enjoy every moment of being the mature brother. After all, it didn’t happen that often. 

 

* * * *

 

“Hey there Professor, time to get up, it’s almost time to check-out,” Dean announced, prodding Sam awake.

“Huh?”

“Wake up Alan Grant,” Dean repeated. Smirking at his own Jurassic Park reference, which Sam was unfortunately too impaired to pick up on. It was fun feeling like the smart one for a change. Oh silly little Sammy. What a silly boy. How could someone so gigantic be such a lightweight? 

“What?” Sam asked blearily. 

“Oh don’t you remember?” Dean smirked. 

“How drunk was I last night?”

“You tried to tell a girl – sorry correction, girls, there was more than one, that you were a paleontologist, but you kept laughing every time you said the scientific name for a dinosaur to impress them, and I think you made a few of them up, the dinosaurs I mean, not the girls. You seemed to think velociraptors were really funny,” Dean recounted fondly. 

“Really? Oh God.” Sam cringed. This was why he didn’t do this. Getting drunk and acting stupid was Dean’s M.O. And what for? It wasn’t like he’d even gone home with a girl. Now Dean would mock him mercilessly for months, years probably, for what? A few hours of laughing at… dinosaurs? This was not his life. 

* * * *

Sam felt fractionally better after basking under the shower’s hot water and soaking in the steam. 

“Oh Candy went home by the way,” Dean informed him helpfully, as if this was everyday, usual sort of news. 

“Who?” 

“Candy, the girl.”

“The… blonde?” 

“Oh no. You wish. Brunette. You met her after blondie got suspicious. You were laughing at dinosaurs man, kind of put her off, not the best game I’ve ever seen.”

Sam scowled but then remembered the important fact here was that Dean had mentioned a girl… a girl who had… come home with him? How could he not remember? Blackouts were not his style, when he’d lost time in the past it had been because of Lucifer or getting knocked out hunting, not alcohol. It was like he and Dean had temporarily swapped bodies, or at least moral compasses. “I brought someone home last night and what, you slept next to us? Man that’s weird.” 

“I’m not the one whose date left at 3am to get home before her kid woke up.”

“She had a kid?” Sam looked like he’d beaten up a puppy dog; a cute, stray, defenseless, puppy. He looked sick with himself. The last time Dean had seen Sam this stricken with guilt was after Sam had opened the gates of hell. “How did you find this out? When did you find this out?”

“Some of us can still remember last night,” Dean smirked. 

“So she didn’t sleep here?” Sam was so confused. So very confused, and nauseous. Oh God. Oh God no. No. He was going to barf right there in front of Dean. Sam dashed to the bathroom, wretched until he was completely empty and then cleaned himself up before remerging even more shamefaced. He didn’t even silently ask ‘why me? haven’t I suffered enough?’ because he felt like he deserved that one. 

“So what happened? C’mon dude, you’ve had your fun, explain, please,” Sam begged ashamedly, though he knew it would only encourage Dean’s mockery. 

“Cas and I bumped into her on her way out, she said she had fun but needed to get home to her kid,” Dean explained. 

“Oh my God I’m a total scum bag. I’m worse than Lucifer and Crowley and Abaddon all put together.” 

“Hey she wasn’t upset man, she had fun, we’re not exactly spring chickens anymore some women our age are going to have kids it’s not like she took you home and told him you were the his new Daddy.”  
“That’s not really the point Dean.”

“Look as much fun as it is watching you squirm before you take a vow of celibacy no one got hurt last night.” 

“I lied to her. I couldn’t even remember her name.” 

“Honestly Sammy, I don’t think her name was really Candy, you both just wanted a bit of fun. Lighten up dude, and get a move on, I’m not paying for late check out just because you’re hung over.”

“Cheap skate,” Sam grumbled but he obediently began stuffing his belongings into his duffle bag. “So how come you and Cas came back so late? How come Cas was here at all? Didn’t exactly seem like his scene.” Sam remarked. 

“Oh your performance was too good to be missed, I wanted witnesses. I may or may not have uploaded footage to Youtube,” Dean teased. 

“As if you know how to use Youtube,” Sam scoffed. 

“How do you know Charlie didn’t help?” 

“Charlie? You told Charlie about last night?” Sam asked, equally worried and mortified. 

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” 

Sam was already pulling out his laptop and opening it up. 

“Sorry brother, remember - tick tock, time to check out. Meter’s running, so to speak. You’ll just have to sweat it out in the car until we get to some place with Wifi.” Dean grinned. This was perfect. This was so much better than suffering through his own hangover. Sam had spent the wild teenage years studying rather than partying so Dean’s glee at being able to make fun of his hung-over little brother was well overdue. It wasn’t exactly the first time Sam had gotten drunk, but it had been pretty epic. Dean doubted he’d see a repeat performance in their lifetime. Sam had already sworn, ‘never again’ silently a hundred times in the shower. 

Sam sighed, close the laptop and followed Dean out the door. “Okay, but we’re stopping for breakfast. Unless you want me to barf all over your car.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Breakfast.” Sam commanded. 

Dean sighed. He would load Sam up with bacon and eggs, but for baby’s sake and the joy of watching Sam eat something other than salad leaves, not because Sam deserved it… He was not secretly a little proud. No not at all. 

There was a bounce in Dean’s step as he walked into reception to pay their bill but the mini-bar charge wiped the grin off his face pretty fast. “Son of a-” Dean grumbled. He thought he’d taught Sam better - never ever drink from the mini-bar. Oh well. He’d get his revenge, Sam would be paying for this for a long, long time. 

* * *


End file.
